A few useless things I've learned
1.Woman who are 100% heterosexual will look at Angela Jolie and say, "I'd do her"
2.In the gym locker room: The fatter the ass the more likely that fat, bare ass will sit on the bench without a towel.
3. If you want your restaurant meal to arrive, light a cigarette, if you want your boss to walk into your cubical, download porn.
4. Don't admit that global warming seems like a nice idea. Just keep it to yourself, you'll be happier.
5. No self respecting Wiccan would have a "Witches Do It In Circles" bumper sticker on their car (or broom).