Thursday, May 31, 2007

My friend and I are thinking of starting a law blog. I believe we have established that I’m not a lawyer and I have shown time and time again that I am, in fact, just barely educated. Nonetheless, I feel that this endeavor will be of service to someone, somewhere. Essentially this new blog will give legal advice to people who are too cheap or apathetic about doing time to hire a real attorney. I think it is safe to say that neither of us are qualified to give legal advice nor, for that matter, advise on relationships, grooming or even basic hygiene but I think it could be a valuable service and who knows, we may even learn a little something about ourselves.

My "law partner" and I discussed this at length over a burrito and the only flaw we could come up with is that we may be held responsible for the god-awful advise we give. To protect ourselves we have decided to refer to ourselves as "lawyers" with the quotation marks. This will clearly protect us from any liability. Of course, we could be mistaken as we are “lawyers” and not lawyers. When discussing your case we will have to use the finger quotes every time we say, “as your quote/ unquote lawyer I would recommend…” This will become tiring to us and annoying to you but we feel that as “attorneys” it is our obligation to remind you that our “legal advice” should not be construed as something that we actually are qualified to answer or have bothered to even look up.

We will keep our overhead low, passing those savings on to you. For instance, instead of owning volumes of case studies and leather bound legal books we will google everything. All a real “attorney” needs is google, a passion for the truth, and focus to keep from downloading internet porn while getting to that truth.

Our mission statement: We are excited by this new endeavor and hope that we don’t devastate too many lives with our “legal expertise”.

Please feel free to send questions regarding divorce, wills, corporate mergers and/or age of consent to me and our team of experts (Read: me an another guy) will begin work immediately (Read: when we get around to it)


t2ed said...

I'd go with "Un-Lawyer."

I've been using Un-Doctor for years and have only a few medical malpractice suits.

Karyn said...

Holy crap, that's funny.

Do you need an Un-Retainer too?