There seems to be a lot of Japanese tourists taking pictures of my apartment building. I don’t mean to suggest that they are part of some terrorist plot or organization, but it seems pretty obvious that they are part of some terrorist plot or organization. And then it hit me…brilliant, a stroke of genius.

The key to a successful terrorist is to not be a suspected terrorist (Copywrite has been applied for: Bumperstickers have been order) . The Japanese have laid pretty low, if you don’t count WWII, and it seems they would be the perfect pawns in terrorist activities.

Maybe it’s time we stopped targeting Osama Bin Ladin since we can’t find him anyway and focus on people we can find, like the Japanese. While Osama is hidden deep in an Afghan cave we could probably find 40-60 Japanese in the Louis Vuitton store on Champs Elysees. It’s really win-win for every one… well, except maybe the Japanese and Louis Vuitton.

I can hear you sighing and shaking your head. “More troops, more bombs, no exit strategy.” No!!!! That’s the beauty of my plan. The Eiffel Tower and my coffee can robot named Lilly will join forces to attack Japan. Trust me, as soon as they see the Eiffel Tower trudging across the Pacific with Lilly on it’s top level, shouting out inappropriate comments, there is going to be a lot of pointing, running and unsynchronized yelling. Now that’s a war I can get behind!! And as for an exit plan let’s face it a giant moth almost toppled Japan certainly Eiffel and Lilly can end this quickly.