Thursday, September 27, 2007

I was talking to my younger brother a while ago and he asked me what I was doing. “Just taking a break and getting some sun in the park” I responded. He got quiet- furrowed his brow as he is wont to do and said “taking a break from what exactly? My father-in-law sent an email to Kelly saying, “I‘m looking forward to reading this book when it’s published, or a rough draft or even just the title at some point.”

Ok, I get it. The honeymoon is over. When I said that we were quitting our jobs and moving to Paris everyone was screaming “Yea Team Midwest!” Now that two months have gone by it’s all about “So really….what are you doing?” Well, I‘ll tell you what I’m doing, if you must know -I’m making a robot.That’s right a robot out of Illy coffee cans. In fact, I’ve already completed the legs- suckas. You will also notice that there is a remote control next to the legs- Why? Because it’s gonna be programmed to do my bidding*. What, pray tell, will I do with a remote controlled robot bent on destruction? Have you ever heard of a little monument called the Eiffel Tower?**

That’s right, I’m talking about a battle royal between my robot, Lilly, and the Eiffel Tower***. I think its time we sent the Eiffel Tower back to the hell in which it was spawned. Also I think if we add some tourist attractions in Hell we might be able to open up some tables in Purgatory.

So I guess the moral of this little story is that you don’t need to worry about me and my day- I’ve got stuff to do… pretty important stuff.

*This is actually the TV remote but as soon as I learn me some electronics we’ll be up and running

**This is more of a rhetorical question as I assume you have heard of the Eiffel Tower.

***Since the coffee cans are Italian and the Eiffel tower is French the real race may be which one surrenders first. (I did not just say that, I did not just say that, I did not just say that)


William Comparetto said...

Fuck yes. Making a robot. Why do people always need to have some definable notion of who you are, by having some clear and distinct notion of what you do for a 'living'? Life, for too many damn people in this world, seems to be one long cocktail party.

LDP said...

Shortest book ever: The Encyclopedia of Italian Military Triumphs.

Love that Illy coffee, though.

Diablo said...

You could have used Folger's cans and then it would be perceived as an attack from the U.S., specifically from Cincinnati, Ohio. Oh yeah, you're taking the high road on this one. Will you tell us the date of your plan? I will be sure to be at least 300 meters away from the tower.

~Michelle~ said...

The pretty pink flowery Illy tins are a nice touch! Adds to the robot mystery - who would suspect a robot with pink flowery tin legs?

Karyn said...

You totally said that.


sarala said...

Which one surrenders first? Too funny. Have the French started telling you Belgian jokes yet?