I may have to reconsider one of my biggest pet peeves. When walking down the sidewalk of any bigger city I always get stuck behind those three people, with arms interlocked, strolling down the avenue without a care in the world, and no place to be. I dodge and weave to get around them; estimating the oncoming pedestrians to see if I can slip by and get back in the right hand lane. Wishing I had paid attention at the high school math problem; If a train leaves D.C. at 6:00 and travels at 40 mph and another train leaves Pittsburg …
On 86th there is a threesome leisurely strolling down the street, shoulder-to-shoulder, deep in conversation. Behind them is a couple pushing a double baby stroller bobbing and weaving to get around. The game is afoot.
“Excuse me!” says Mr. Stroller. “Trying to get through here. You’re taking up most of the sidewalk.” The threesome form a single file line and the Stroller family quickly go by with a nasty remark concerning etiquette. I take the opportunity to get passed the threesome too. I’m to turn on 3rd Ave but decide to continue following the family (ok- it’s creepy I know).
“I have no patience for that.” Says My Stroller to his wife
“Unbelievable” agrees Mrs. Stroller
We get to the crosswalk and wait for the light.
“Good thing you made it to the stop light so quickly.” One of the threesome yells as they settle in behind us.
The stroller man’s wife gives them a sneer. “Happy Holiday to you too.”
I realize she’s referring to Columbus Day, which would be an awesome insult if the threesome were Native American but they aren’t and so it’s just a bit confusing.
The Strollers look at each other and shake their heads,
“Unbelievable” they say in agreement.
The Strollers continue down the street.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t stop!” Mr Stroller yells at a woman in front of him that slows to look at a window display.
“Jesus, don’t just stop in the middle of the sidewalk I almost ran into you.”
“Unbelievable” his wife agrees.
This goes on for two blocks; complaining whenever someone has the audacity to get in their way, or be of any inconvenience to them at all. Their kids say “beep, beep” as they approach anyone walking slower than they. I’ve had my fill and decide to take a right down 1st Avenue to grab a cup of coffee. They stop in front of a salon that the Mrs. Stroller is going into and, I kid you not, I accidentally run into Mr. Stroller.
“Jesus! Dude watch where you’re going” he shouts at me.
"Unbelievable" his wife agrees.
“Have a nice holiday” is all I can muster.