I don’t think I’ve ever really written about my job. Most articles I’ve read about blogging suggest that you should not mix the two. I avoid writing about it, not because I’m afraid I would get dooced*, but because it isn’t that interesting- it’s a job, it’s a paycheck. I don’t get much personal gratification from a job well done- because I’m paid to do the job well. I am the project manager for multi million dollar building projects.
The first thing that you would notice about this job is the level of confrontation involved. It is an angry, testosterone-filled industry with head-on violent confrontation. It's peculiar that I'm in this industry because I do not like confrontation at all- I never have. As soon as people start yelling I want to be gone. I used to think that aversion to confrontation was a good, peace loving, spiritual character trait, but I know it was just cowardice. I don’t like confrontation because I don’t like to be yelled at and I’d rather not have to standup to the person yelling.
That has changed in the 8 years that I’ve been here. I have been in a room full of idiot male behavior, every one of them screaming at me, brow beating and trying to bully me and I stand my ground. If someone slams the table I slam the table harder- if someone cusses me out (which has happened many times) I sling it right back. If someone threatens to kick my ass (which has happened many times) I say “really?” and call the police right then and there. – I’m not going to actually get in a fistfight over anything, and it’s worth the look on their face to know that I’d have them arrested.
It has been a good experience to learn to say “No” and not be bullied into a “Yes”, but…I’m getting tired of the confrontation. I’m tired of the lawsuits and the yelling and the sticking out of the chest. I’m tired of the playground male bravado. Learning to defend my position is good, learning that not everyone has to like you is good but I’ve learned that lesson and I’m ready to move on.
*Dooced is an actual term, which means to get fired for blogging about work or during work hours. I, of course, would never do either of these things, and if you suggest I would I’ll have you arrested.