“MAN’S NIGHT OUT!!!!!”

Kelly rolls her eyes “ok…you do that”

Man’s Night Out, the idea feels me with glee. Back in the day Man’s Night Out was dangerous. Friends and I would meet up after work with in downtown Chicago and walk home, north to Wrigleyville. We would stop in every dive bar we passed and have a couple. By the time we got home it was 3:00 in the morning and we could barely stand but it had been worth it. I have been called a “rat fucker” by Middle Eastern shopkeepers long before it was fashionable to be hated by them. One woman told me that she would “rip off my head and shit down my neck” it was unclear why she was going to do that but it was all part of Man’s Night Out. So when my friend Demetrius called last night and said “MAN’S NIGHT OUT!!!”

I responded with a hardy “HELL YA!!! I’LL CHECK WITH MY WIFE!!”

Now that drinking is out of the question, smoking cigarettes and anything else for that matter is over, along with anything else that is remotely fun Man’s Night Out has changed. For instance we can have a man’s night out in the middle of the week and not worry too much about missing work. It’s a lot like double dating but without any dates and we get to see a manly movie but even those are in short supply. Oceans 13- that’s what’s left to us.

“I’M LEAVING FOR MAN’S NIGHT OUT!!!!” I scream from front door.

“Ok- you have fun with gay night out…I mean man’s night out.” Kelly says from the second floor.

GAY NIGHT MY ASS!!!! I yell upstairs as I throw my man-bag over my shoulder, checking to make sure there is a diet coke in it and a sweater. It gets so chilly at the movies.