I’m not certain what the “trick” is to learning a language. Actually, I suspect the “trick” is studying and maybe taking a class or two- but I prefer to learn French through other means. I’m not certain what those other means are but I have overcome one of the more important aspects of learning a language. I am no longer afraid of making a mistake and looking like an idiot. Some might use that important first step to get out there and practice, practice, practice. I have opted to not learn the language and not worry too much about it. This means that what would take a normal person one hour to complete a task takes me the entire day- luckily time is the one thing I have in abundance.

Today I must buy clothes hangers and I treat it as a military maneuver. I scoped out the BHV yesterday on different errand but did not locate the hangers (recon)- this will mean that I have to interact with someone in the BHV (engage the enemy). I go home, I plot my course of action I pour over maps of the battlefield…I mean the different floors and departments. I look up the word “hanger” it is "cintre". This will be the key to the operation. That’s the only word I research. I attempt to memorize the word and I do not take a copy of the word with me to the BHV in case there is a hostage situation. My game plan is to find someone that looks official and say “CINTRE!” Damn pronunciation, forget about verbs, Prepositions…I think not. All I want is “CINTRE” nothing more nothing less. I am not going to muddy the waters with a lot of unnecessary words.

Of course I forget the word as soon as I am there. Since Marcel Marceau passed away, quiety, I feel the art of mime is now open to every one. I mime taking of a shirt and putting it on a “CINTRE”. I might as well have had doilies on my nipples because I looked like I was stripping for either a security guard or a meter maid who had the misfortune of shopping over lunch. The battle was over before it began. The lady said, “Oh you mean hangers? First floor all the way to the back.”

Keep on taking those French classes, Suckas- I’m going to hang me up some clothes