I went to a meeting a few days ago and was struck by the discussions people were having.
One guy, in his mid twenties, came in late and spoke as soon as the last person finished. At first I thought he was drugged, he was speaking in a slow, monotone voice and complaining about how hard his life was. He was talking about being at work and lying to his boss so that he could leave a few hours early that day and how hard it is to stay sober etc. “It’s important that I don’t beat myself up over it.” He said. The rest of the meeting he put his head on the table and appeared to sleep. Being toxic is very tiring work.
I disagree. I think he should beat himself over his behavior. Not for the rest of his life but certainly for the day. It should feel bad to lie. You can be fired for lying to get out of work - so that seems like a pretty legitimate fear. It probably is difficult to stay sober if you focus on how hard life is and continue to do the same shit you’ve always done.
For some people life is a dull grind, filled with negativity and complaints. They have to share their negative thoughts and complaints with others- negative needs to breed more negativity. They complain as a way of explaining to others, and more importantly themselves, why their row is more difficult to hoe. It must be that their lives our more difficult, otherwise they would be to blame for their own misery. Negativity begets negativity.
I have had a few toxic people in my life but I have, over time, weeded them out. I no longer feel the need to extend conversations with these types of people in the name of civility or politeness. Life is too short to spend time with the nay-sayers, whiners and complainers. I avoid toxic people like the plague.
After the meeting this guy’s energy was restored when he saw an attractive girl and bolted over to meet her. Hopefully she had the sense to run.