Sunday, January 13, 2008

Back to the Pompidou today to check out the Modigliani- somehow I missed an entire floor- the 1906 to 1960 Modern Painting section. There seems to be a lot of things we can’t do at the museum such as take pictures, talk on the phone or draw mustaches on the portraits- these should be called the PompiDon’ts- unfortunately I violated 2 of these 3 rules but I wanted a picture of the bust of Gertrude Stein ( yea, I think you know what I’m talking about) and the Modigliani because I’m reading his biography and then my stupid brother called me. so there I was 2 PompiDon'ts and no magic marker to make it a trifecta.

As I was leaving the building there were two people at the exit with the “Free Hugs” sign. I’m a hugger, I always have been. When I first got to Paris I could appreciate the kiss on either check with the hand on the shoulder- but you know what?- it isn’t very satisfying. I need a hug- it’s how I roll. The huggers were male and female- quickly I weighed the options because if I hug the woman she might think I’m just looking to cop a feel. I must use caution with my new Goatee and sideburns, I oooooze sexuality- despite what all the women* said on my last post. I hugged the man because I believe in preserving the integrity of the non-sexual hug. The guy seemed to be taken aback by my hug – I gave him plenty of warning, “Coming in!” I yelled. But it occurred to me that he might have thought I was gay and trying to cop a feel (it’s also possible that my new look unleashed desires within that he was not aware he possessed). I can appreciate that he might have thought I was gay, lets face it I’m an excellent dresser, I have phenomenal hair and I have the hips of a 12 year old girl still he should not have been too surprised that I busted out with a big bear hug because he was, after all, holding a “Free Hugs” sign.

I began to walk home through the Marais thinking about this latest development- catching my reflection in the shop windows as I passed because the goatee looks just that good. And it occurs to me that gay guys must have sex all the time- men are dogs- and I was thinking they ought to put that in the brochure when they are recruiting young men to join their sexual orientation lifestyle. Remember the seminars we all had to attend when it came time to decide whether we were going to be gay or straight- Remember, how all the “Undecideds” ended up being bi. God, that was funny. The other thing they should have mentioned in their literature is that if you are gay you effectively double your wardrobe when you start dating another guy- and not crappy stuff either. Of course the negative aspect of being gay is that you probably have to sleep with guys- they may want to de-emphasize that aspect of the gay lifestyle. Whenever a possible recruit ask about it they can bring up the musicals again.

*When Brenda delurks- Brenda DELURKS


Panic in New York said...

A rack like that and you hugged the guy? You live in the Marais? Hips of a 12 year old girl? Hello.
Oh and your brother is not that stupid, he is just misunderstood.

La Belette Rouge said...

I think, as you are still rockin the facial hair, perhaps you should have asked yourself what Johnny Depp would have done? I am guessing he would have passed on the hugs. Perhaps, that is proof that he is not the role model for you and further argument for abandoning the lamb chops;-)
p.s. you're funny--in a good way :-)

Kelly said...

I cannot even believe I am saying this...but you should have hugged the hot woman. You live in France now and you passed up an opportunity to hug a pretty woman, what were you thinking?!?!

LDP said...

Is there all the time? Just wondering.

Parisian Cowboy said...

This pompidon't thing is quite funny.

I thought the same about being gay. I thought... if I become gay, I will have sex all the time. Great. But with men. Not too great.

Karyn said...

Pompidon't had me laughing so hard I hiccupped for a few minutes and got some really strange sidelong looks.

I'm big on the hugging. It's a nice idea. Did you see that video I posted on the first of January? Right. Love that huggy business.

I don't have the stones to walk around the City doing it, mind you, but it's nice.