I have to say it’s been a tough couple of weeks. There has been a seemingly never ending parade of rejections on the job front. I stare at the computer ready to send out the next patch of cover letters and resumes, which will be ignored or thrown out. It has got me feeling quite grumpy and I’m sure that’s reflected in the negative posts that I’ve been writing. You have to know when to step away and look for some good in the world. So I send them out, put on my ubiquitous sport coat and take a stroll around New York to find a better outlook on life.

I saw a tiny door, which seemed very important.

I dispelled a few stereotypes. Three orthodox Jews in a boat and they appear to be tipping

I watched the boats

I listened to a father tell his son he was doing it all wrong. I rolled my eyes at the son and the boy laughed

I went down the rabbit hole

I saw a wedding party and didn’t think “divorce count-down 10, 9, 8…”

I saw an empty shell, but on further inspection I saw a bubble and 2 girls talking.

I sat with an old man named Saul who agreed the espressos were terrific

Another Day In Paris

I had a horrible beginning to my day. I try not to burden others with my pain but lets just say as an ARTIST- I feeeeeeel more than the average person and yet, as a John Wayne. stoic type, I keep that pain locked away. It will, of course, one day express itself by forcing me to a bell tower with a high-powered rifle but for now it makes me a relatively low maintenance friend.

To lift my spirits, I wander out to get a coffee at my corner cafe where the barman loves me but when I arrive he act as though he doesn’t know me. This is odd. Just a few weeks ago we shook hands and laughed like school girls tormenting the fat girl. Where’s the love? I've been tossed like yesterdays grounds. I keep a stiff upper lip and I try to engage the other waiter in friendly banter just to get a little jealousy going- That always worked in Junior High but doesn't play well in the sophisticated City of Light. Oh hang one…he’s a waiter in a coffee shop- what do I care?

As I step out of the cafe I bumped into Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam in “The Office”. She is with her alleged boyfriend, James Gunn. (see update) I don’t recognize anything he’s been in but in some movie he plays “The Insane Masturbator”- so I think we can agree that Jenna probably footed the bill for the Paris trip. Most of you might feel this was just a chance encounter between Jenna and I but in my journal she is stalking me.

Across the street two models were also caught stalking me- models make lousy stalkers as they tend to get dizzy from lack of food and topple over on their high heels. I managed to get a photo of them just before they fell to the ground like wounded pheasants.


Update:
There was a sudden, angry surge of readership (ok...9 people) from the Watercooler , a discussion board about "The Office". regarding my running into Jenna Fischer. From the message board I learned several things.
FACT: James Gunn is rich and can afford to take a trip to Paris if he wants.
FACT: James Gunn is Jenna's ex husband not her alleged boyfriend so chances are it wasn't him. (I still think it was)
FACT: Misplaced in the Midwest is weird, doesn't know what he is talking about and might have been smoking crack during the encounter.

Note: They did not dispute my claim that Jenna is stalking me...now where's my crackpipe?

I had a lovely Sunday. It’s cold in Paris- 40 degrees if you consider that cold in February. Kelly has a paper to write so I decided to help in the best way I knew how and that is to get out of the way.

On the first Sunday of the month many of the museums are free. I think we’ve established that I’m umm…. frugal and so it was off for a free afternoon at the Louvre. One of the many pluses in living in Paris is that there is no need to cram everything in. Walk through a museum until you are saturated and leave. There will always be another free day on the horizon. The last time I was there I focused on the French sculptures on the lower ground floor- this time my plan was to hit the French painters- but was sidetracked by the “Objets d’arts” on the 1st floor of Richelieu wing. Very cool- I was particularly impressed with the tapestries. A few of those tapestries are down right salacious which, of course, makes it all the more interesting. It’s easy to only glance at them as you walk by quickly- but study them. My goodness, I think you’d be surprised. If they were in a porn shop I’d be a pervert but since they are at the Louvre I’m a clever little art monkey.

I’ve mentioned this before but I’m all about beating a dead horse. Watch people the next time you are in a museum. Many of them walk up to a painting look at it for a second and snap a picture of it. They must have a hundred digital pictures by the end of their visit. Even more fun are the people holding up their cell phones and snapping that perfect shot. I saw one guy walking around the perimeter of the room videotaping the paintings- he saw them only through the viewfinder of his camera! I realize that it is his experience and not my business but Jesus man get in the moment. I’m sure he’s thinking that he will study the art later, in the comfort of his home. I’m guilty of that kind of behavior too- it’s hard to be in the present and enjoy the moment for what it is. I don’t need a souvenir; I don’t need to prove to anyone that I was there. I just need to enjoy it at that moment. Easier said than done.

Is the only thing keeping you from moving to Paris the fear that you wont be able to find a good burger? Trust me, I understand, but fear not. I went to a café around the corner from the Louvre called Café De La Comedie and I had a, dare I say it, GREAT burger. This place is a total tourist trap; it was expensive but completely worth it. I should have looked at the menu and ordered water instead of diet coke- I ended up spending 1/3rd of my weekly spending money- but it was a good burger and I was content.

I went home to pester Kelly who was deep into her 20-page paper. Just looking at it made me tired so I took a 45-minute nap and then went to a group meditation meeting. I’ve been going to this meeting for about 3 months every Sunday. Fifteen of us meet up at the communist headquarters in the 3rd Arrondisement and do a 1½ hour guided meditation. It’s nice and the people are just crazy enough to be interesting. I go to my “happy place” with pictures of Che Guevara grimacing down at me. If the numbers on the white board are any indication the Communist party isn’t doing so well which might explain Che’s furrowed brow.

When I got home I found that Kelly had roasted a chicken- the apartment smelled wonderful. We had a meal that couldn’t be beat and chatted about our day. I tried not to let on how perfect my day was so she wouldn’t be jealous and I fell asleep reading a mystery novel about a stolen Modigliani. Can a day get any better?

Remember, there is still time to Ask a French Woman.

Our Week

Watched Ronald McDonald get tied up with celephane and hit with pies. Don't let this little "demonstration" fool you. Parisians love Mcdonalds and Starbucks- both businesses are packed!


Strolled around Sacre Cour- did not get in a fight with any street venders this time.



Mimicked Rodin’s statue of Balzac- and then LAUGHED at how stupid Balzac and Rodin both were.


Walked past some interesting views, checked my shoes for dog poop- everything was cool.


Watched actors rehearse their scenes.


Watched a statue get the bum's rush by security- "Write when you get work" I yelled- I was immediately reminded that I'm unemployed and that wrapping myself in a white sheet for Euros may not be such a bad idea.

A Day In The Life

You sit around a long oval table, there are 8 lawyers looking at you. One lawyer has been asking you questions for 5 hours, the others look bored but still they just stare because there is nothing else to do and you are the only game in town. You have been sworn in, the lawyer asking the questions hands you page after page of "evidence" and asks you about each one. The stenographer silently takes notes- you are amazed at how quickly she can type- 5 hours straight and she hasn't missed a beat. You realize that in about a week you will get a copy of your deposition. How many "ummmms" have been caught, how many "Ya know"s ? After five hours of everyone looking at you and asking you questions about something that happened 8 years ago you start to drift. You look out the window, over an expanse of land which no longer shows any evidence of the farms that were there 10 years ago- just corporate park after corporate park after corporate park. Another piece of evidence (#67) is handed to you. "Do you recognize this letter?" As your eyes come back into the room and leave the the vista beyond you think to yourself, "I really need to learn how to buy vegitables by metric weight- that will be important in Paris"

Man...what a day so far. My tire blew out on the highway so I changed the tire in the rain while trucks screamed by me splashing me with nasty highway water. I need to work on my speed in tire changing, but I've only had ot change 3 tires before. I was pissed at myself becasue I got a little panicky while changing it- but afterwards I thought that being panicky while changing a tire on the highway in the rain is probably pretty normal- (I'm always on the look out for the panick attacks which have left me).

I went to get a hamburger for lunch and the waitress accidently dropped a fry in my coke. "Ooops" she said and reached into my drink pulled the fry out and said , "There ya go" And left without replacing the drink. Again I feel blessed to have witnessed it and I have been smiling the rest of the day. Somedays all it takes it one little serendipitous moment to make everything ok.- the coke tasted that much better.

When I was a boy my dad and I went camping in Indiana- I ordered pancakes at a greasy diner (that's how my family camps) I asked for some butter and she returned carrying the unwrapped butter in her hands- no plate, no nothing- just her bare hands wrapped around a stick of butter. Can life get any better than that???? No..the answer is no.

A woman from Argentina, Arboleda posted a comment on my blog a few posts back. she only has one post up so far but I think its going to be an interesting blog if she keeps with it. Isn't it great to peek into peoples lives from a distance. Especially when the distance is so far.

What a lovely weekend it has been so far. My friend down the street had an art opening. We beat out three other people to buy a piece K- has had her eye on. You can check out his paintings on his new site Atelier/ Romanos. Another favorite is the Space Bee series one of which is shown on his site- we have one of these as well- I'll post the painting later this week. The opening was great- just a lot of fun people, wonderful paintings in a nice spot- very good energy.

One conversation I overheard-
Woman: Wow I think I slept with most of the guys over in that corner.
Her Boyfriend: We should call my friend Will, you haven't slept with him...yet.
*This is the painting we bought.

Saturday Day: We spent the day getting the house ready to sell. Much cleaning, photos, and trying to get a nice brochure together to give the illusion that the house is worth every penny we are asking.

Saturday night, walking down the main drag I run into Busker playing harmonica with several musicians.
Busker: Hey, I've been reading your blog.
Misplaced: Yea? What do you think?
Busker: It's very...bloggy.
1 hour later
Misplaced to self:" What the fuck does that mean?