Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I bought a grocery cart from the BHV. A maroon, two wheeled beauty with a slight squeak as it rolls down the street. (squeak, squeak, squeak). I’ve wanted one since I got here but I didn’t want to be one of those people that jump on the grocery cart bandwagon. I wheeled it back home. It isn’t as easy as one would image, especially in the crowded streets of the Marais (squeak, squeak, thump thump) “oops pardon Madame.” I’m apologetic and embarrassed when I run over someone’s shoes but after about the 3rd time I start to get pissed off at them- “Get yer shoes out from under my grocery cart beotch- yer gonna mess up the wheel alignment”. You can say "beotch" because no one knows what it means except the English speakers and they know they are being beotches so it’s cool.

Kelly and her friends come home and they make fun of my cart. They say it isn’t cool but I ignore them. What do 20-somethings know from cool- they think 80’s music was hip- they wore Uggs.

As I wheel my cart to the Monoprix (squeak squeak squeak) I can’t help but notice that only old French ladies have grocery carts. I feel as though I’m getting looks of distain from the French guys- as though my grocery cart is effeminate. If a French guy thinks it’s effeminate then it must be pretty goddamned gay but I don’t care- I like my cart. I don’t really need anything from the Monoprix but I want to fill 'er up, take 'er on the road and see what she can do.

I walk off into the sunset- just a guy with a dream and a grocery cart. (squeak squeak squeak)

Photo: Ponette warily checking out the competition for my affection

9 comments:

LDP said...

Hey, that's my grandmother's!

JML said...

Dude - The cat thing isn't working for me.

taryn said...
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william comparetto said...

My grandma had one of those things - needed it in NYC.

Ugg boots - seriously - I try to make fun of Uggs all the time to my students. Sadly, I think they are aware of how silly they look, but wear them because everyone else who is somebody wears them. I tell them that they are Heman boots, and then I even went as far as to theorize that since the creator of Heman was a Miami graduate, and Uggs are so popular at Miami - yeah. The students loved that one.

L'Étrangère Americaine said...

Be proud of your cart! I think the color suits you.

Antonia said...

Don't worry, you're not the only person in Paris to have a cart who isn't an old lady. I'm 25 and I have one too! Mine is hot pink and I wheel it about with pride.

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh! I am rolling! Mine would have to be Lime Green!

tommy r said...

One way to assert your manhood would be to buy a can of oil and grease up the axles. It worked for my squeaks.

Cécile Qd9 said...

Your cart is beuatiful and means that you're a real parisian...
Mine is black and we live a perfect market life together for nearly 10 years now...
I even take him with me when I take the TGV to visit my parents who live in a small village near Le Mans. When the week-end is over I fold it with fresh vegetables, homemade marmelade and cans, all kinds of delicious french specialities like rillettes, goat cheese, pâté de sanglier...
How could I survive without my precious cart ?