I have a pet peeve about some Americans abroad. I will admit that I am also guilty of this annoying habit so this is really a post to myself. Americans in Paris want to be accepted by the Parisians. We all understand this need to be loved; maybe Americans have this need more than other as I have heard suggested- I don’t know. The next time you are in Paris watch an expat or a tourist when they are first introduced to a Parisian. The conversation will begin politely enough- general conversation- “I love your city!”- “Wow, that is some tower you got there” “Is it true that there is a place in France where the ladies wear no pants?” You know, the usual icebreakers. As soon as there is a lull in the conversation watch the American. He begins to twitch and get excited. He wants to say something but he doesn’t know if it’s too soon. He’s trying to hold back the comment but he can’t. He’s going to burst- he must say it…. can’t….hold….out…much…longer…

“I didn’t vote for Bush!”

It spews from his mouth like projectile vomit splattering everyone within earshot.

Unable to restrain the flood the American will go on and on about how he doesn’t like Bush he doesn’t know anyone that voted for Bush, certainly none of his friends- the election was rigged. He will then roll into American racism, slavery, and freedom fries. He will have a new thought that politician's extra-marital affairs should not only be ignored but encouraged*. As the American discusses these woes they will laugh- a short “please love me” laugh. “American’s are so stupid. ha ha ha Aren’t they? ha ha ha”

It’s painful to witness. I cringe when I hear this- I cringe even more when I’m guilty of it. We can pretend that we are discussing politics but I think all we are trying to do is convince a complete stranger that we aren’t like all those “other” redneck, provincial Americans who don’t know diddly about squat. It’s a rather pathetic attempt to fit in. We assume that the Frenchman hates America or Bush and that they devote most of their day to thinking about this hatred. Essentially we are buying into a stereotype so that we wont be stereotyped by a person that may or may not stereotype Americans in that way. I can’t say that I am a particularly good or proud American but Jesus have a little loyalty for your homeland- don’t be so quick to sell out your country and perpetuate stereotypes so that you can be liked by a guy that probably supported Sarkosy.

*My thought regarding politicians that cheat on their spouses- If a person cheats on their spouse with whom they love and have made a solemn vow how long will it take before they screw over a complete stranger (you)- other than that I don't really need to know about who's sleeping with whom.

My wife and I had a little blow out this morning. I hate fighting with my wife- it makes me shaky inside. The scribble for today is fantasy but our little battle as me not feeling very creative
(Update: Scribble is next post down)

I guess with any fight or disagreement the key is to see it from the other persons perspective- but we are both so busy trying to explain our own perspective that we can't be bothered, which of course leads to a louder and a more confrontational argument.

The argument was about this blog. I started writing this blog in October 2006. I just wanted to have a place that I would force myself to write 5 days a week. I wasn't going to worry about what I wrote, I just wanted to get in the habit of writing- I didn't even care if it was any good. (although after I got a few comments I started caring) I kept it completely anonymous including the location and names- this gave me, I felt, license to write about conversations I've had which I wouldn't normally discuss. The purpose for the complete anonymity was that I would,in theory, be able to write about anything without having to censor myself. I decided to not write about my wife in any concrete way because I thought it would be in violation of trust to do so, even though it is anonymous.

On to the fight. I mentioned to K that I was writing a blog but that I would prefer that she not read it. I didn't want to have to worry about what I wrote, but I also didn't want the fact that I was doing a blog to be a secret. I would, upon occasion, read a few things to her that I thought were funny but any of the heavy stuff, or things that might be embarrassing to people we both know, I kept quiet about. Last night I noticed that she read it, which began the argument.

Is it wrong to keep a blog quiet from your significant other? Is it unrealistic and unfair to ask them not to read it?

For her it came down to a matter of trust. Why couldn't I trust her with what I wrote- did I think she was going to blab to everyone about the heroin addict. To me it came down to a matter of trust as well, but more along the lines of 'I trust you not to read it'. I compared it to a private journal, and she made the point that its a published blog. I said that while it might be published it is anonymous and if she knows who I'm talking about (I use initials) then it is no longer anonymous. She made the point that we are married and shouldn't have secrets.

It begs the question: Do I have the right to publish specific conversations I have had, even though they are anonymous. I write them not to get them off my chest but because I think they're poignant and they have stuck with me. Is it a violation of trust that I've written about these things? Should I remove them from my blog? Should I have written about this argument?

I don't know- Something for me to ponder this weekend.