Kelly will be in Oregon until next week. When the cats away the mice will what? Good question- let me lay it out for you. I fired up the electric razor and shaved my beard- but not all of it. That's right I left long sideburns, not quite muttonchops but long enough to show that I mean business and a goatee- I'm sportin' a new look for the new year. I'll be sliding on my boots and be steppin' high in tall cotton. It's a look that says- "Hey world here I am! If you can't handle my facial hair then you can't handle me- Sucka!" put it also says in a whiny small voice, "Please love me".

Here's the thing about guys with goatees and sideburns and now that I'm one of them I feel I can let you in on this secret, when they look in the mirror they don't see what you see. They could be 300 lbs, have more chins than a chinese phonebook, male pattern baldness and a lazy eye- they will still look in the mirror (with their good eye) at the long sideburns and goatee and think to themselves, "Damn, I kind of look like Johnny Depp" It's true, very sad but very true.

This new look will disappear before Kelly gets back- the only reminder will be the small hairs in the sink which i will inevitable miss.

Next Week: The Soul Patch