I ran to catch the train at the Hotel De Ville but I just missed it. I was alone on the platform until a guy dressed in a clown suit carrying a suitcase came down the stairs and stood by himself. He set the suitcase down next to his oversized red shoes. the clown looked sad as he stared at the ground- deep in thought. His sadness was palpable. Had his girlfriend broken up with him and kicked him out of the house? I wondered if he was he going over everything she said to him that morning.

“It’s over Blinky- I just can’t see a future for us. I’ve packed your horn and the bucket of confetti/water in your big cardboard suitcase. No, no put away the balloons- a weiner dog can’t fix what’s wrong with us.”

It’s hard to keep your dignity when you’ve been asked to move out. It must be especially hard if your dressed in a clown suit.

It is December 14th and I am, amazingly, finishing up my Christmas shopping. I was looking for one last present last night for my 6 year old nephew and I found the inflatable punching bag clown. These were all the rage when I was a boy. It's funny that it is being sold at The Sharper Image for $10.

The rules of the game are simple, you hit the clown, he will fall down and then bounce back up to be hit again.

A commercial played last year showing a rodeo. A lawyer was let loose in the ring and a cowboy would chase him down on a horse. The lawyer would be lassoed and hog tied while the cowboy was timed. The American Bar Association sued to have this commercial removed.

Is there an American Clown Association? Why aren't they outraged that this clown punching bag is still on the market. Doesn't it promote clown violence? What if it was an inflatable hooker? Children could play pimp, smacking the inflatable whore around until she coughed up some money. They could call it "Where My Money At, biatch!" The American Hooker Association would be all over that one.

These clowns need to get their act together.