I've been kicking around a couple new goals I want to work toward.

I'm not certain if I mentioned that I started working out and jogging ever since the crackwhore made disparaging remarks about my weight. I've been going to the gym for the past 9 weeks, trying to tone up my body and lose the love handles, increase energy, you know all that shite. After I jogged 1 mile for the first time since junior high and then I then a few weeks later I got up to 2 miles it occurred to me that it might be possible to run a 5K race. After I finished laughing at the thought of me in a race I googled "how to run a 5k race" and this week I began training. I don't think I'll tell K- about this plan, it seems like more of a personal goal and I'd rather do this in my own quiet manner (also I can bail on the idea as soon as it gets too hard).

So every Monday I'm going to run down the last weeks training goals for the week. I shoule by early April be able ot run 5K which is 3.1 miles (thank you google). Afterwards I will begin drinking, smoking and snorting cocaine.

I have discussed those little moments of serendipity that are gifts. There are also moments that ask you do some serious self-appraisal.

I ran into a woman I knew from 'back in the day'. She's a crackwhore. I don't mean that in a glib way, I just mean she trades sex for crack.

The exchange went like this.

Misplaced: "Hey Crackwhore how have you been?"
Crackwhore: "Misplaced! What's shakin'? Man it's been a long time- you got your haircut I hardly recognized you."
Misplaced: "Yea it has been awhile, good to see you."
Crackwhore: "...and you gained a lot of weight"
Misplaced: "huh?"
Crackwhore: "Weight... you gained a lot of weight"

I think its safe to say that when a crackwhore suggests that you've let yourself go, you've probably let yourself go.

I went to the gym during lunch today and heard the following exchange.

Scene: Gym Locker Room
Old guy 1 -In the locker room. His name is apparently Jim.
Old guy 2 -Entering the locker room after his Silver Sneakers Senior Workout

Silver Sneakers: "Jimmy, Jimmy gimme a penny"
Old Man Jim: "What?....Huh?"
Silver Sneaker: "Jimmy Jimmy gimme a penny"
Old man Jim: "...What?"
Silver Sneaker "Jimmy , Jimmy gimme a penny"
Old Man Jim: "...oh... yea... ok." (Forces a small laugh) "I can probably do that"
Silver Sneakers: "What?"
Old Man Jim: "A penny, I can probably do that."
Silver Sneakers "What?...Huh?"

This is why schoolyard rhymes need to stay in the schoolyard and this particular rhyme needs to stay in the 1930's